Posted by Elizabeth101 on 2004-07-03 12:20:25pm

1. Be kind. When you are kind to others, they will go out of their way to be kind to you.

2. Be nice to others. When you are not nice, you wound the person you are not nice to and the others around them. You also wound yourself.

3. Wipe keet butts. It’s humbling and teaches you to take care of helpless creatures who are less powerful and capable than yourself. Also, it teaches you not to let crap back up. Often results in death.

4. PUH-TRACK, PUH-TRACK, PUH-TRACK daily in your loudest voice. It’s good for the soul and you make people laugh.

5. Information is always available. All you have to do is ask. Someone will always come to your rescue.

6. Share what you know. There is always someone that can benefit from your experience.

7. Enjoy what you have. None of us owns this guinea website and if we croak, we ain’t taking it with us either! Frit owns the website. She uses her own money to pay for ALL OF THIS. She sells her guinea books and those sales support this website. All of this is a gift for us to enjoy. Enjoy it, don’t abuse it. In this day and age, where everyone is “out to get”, those who give and give so much are few and far between.

8. Don’t forget to thank others.

9. Clean out yer coop frequently. Apologize to others when you hurt feelings. And be forgiving. Poop builds up and attracts flies, diseases, smells like the devil and can ruin relationships with yer neighbors. In apologizing and forgiving others, your poop disintegrates and that compost produces beautiful tomatoes.

10. Archives disappear all the time. They have to. This board ain’t the Library of Congress. The flock here is so big and all the conversations block up the board and then people (especially those in foreign countries) can’t flock. If the archives get too big and are NOT removed, people can’t read the board. Rule: Make a special effort to keep what you love, want to remember or value. Make a copy! Right then and there.

11. Stick with your flock. Roll in the dust with yer buddies. Roost together. Eat together. Groom each other. Be on alert for the others while the flock is resting. Protect little ones with all your being and might. But, always maintain a mysterious, vacant gaze in the presence of humans.

12. Choose who you lose. Trouble makers come and go in life. Over the years, the people on the board choose to ignore lengthy diatribes that continually criticize others. Their silence speaks volumes. Problem guineas usually get eaten by the fox ‘cause they’re not payin’ attention 'cause they're being so mean. Or they wind up in a cage outside Le Restaurante’ Provencal in the middle of the night. Trouble making guineas are loved by the French. Zey are a leedle tough, but zey are leep-schmacking good!

13. But, most of all, think like a guinea. Wake up bleary eyed, dash out of your coop with wings a flappin' and go to bed squackin' at the top of your lungs. Take the time to chase a butterfly, chatter all night under a full moon and shriek bloody murder just for the heck of it.